AGAIN! I've be trying to start WW again and again and again. This must be my bazillion-ith time starting the program. And for some reason I'm not able to grasp it this time around. I know its a mental thing.
Last night for example. I ate a protein bar and a peach for breakfast. Not bad. Then after that it went all down hill. I decided that doughnuts, no just one but 4, were a good options to eat, then lunch I had a club sandwich, then I went to my future sister in laws umpteenth baby shower and downed a small chicken sandwich, 1/2 cup of pasta salad, and 2 cupcakes! UGH! The I decided after all that needed a 4th meal at midnight! So I went to taco bell with my friends. And just gorge myself in greasy high point foods.
And now the day after, as always, I am left with regret and such. I'm like I could have done a heck of alot better! But for some reason I'm not getting past this mental block.
Here is a little background. I've been on WW for 2 and half years on and off. What started this whole thing was my mom being diagnosed with diabetes, and my determination not to get it continued my quest my loss a 100 pounds in the first year and half. Then I went through a nasty break up, a huge move, yucky roommates times 2, unfulfilling jobs times 2, and then a depression. And that was a year ago I was medicated for it. Which I was given paxil and I later found out that put on weight and honestly I didn't really care. Then the medicine wasn't working proper for me mentally. So I took myself off it. Things begin to turn around. During this whole depression I was dating this amazing guy, who got me the help (along with my amazing friends!) Beginning of this year my guy asked me to marry him, I said yes...duh! Then we moved into together. I got a promotion at work. So I have amazing things going...I've always had amazing things but I'm just rediscovering them again after that stint of depression.
So here I sit with most of the weight I loss turned into a gain. 90 pounds to be exact. Its probably all gained back who knows...we'll find out tomorrow. And I'm not sure why I'm not grasping the concept. Okay well I grasp the concept but its not sticking. I have a wedding in June and I want to look and feel sexy in my dress, like every bride does. But most of my days start off good and then it goes down hill. But I hope airing this and getting off my chest and being a part of these boards again will spark something in me and keep me going!
September 19, 2010 I mark the umpteenth plus 1 times of starting WW and it being the final time. I have a wedding dress to get into! :)
Last night for example. I ate a protein bar and a peach for breakfast. Not bad. Then after that it went all down hill. I decided that doughnuts, no just one but 4, were a good options to eat, then lunch I had a club sandwich, then I went to my future sister in laws umpteenth baby shower and downed a small chicken sandwich, 1/2 cup of pasta salad, and 2 cupcakes! UGH! The I decided after all that needed a 4th meal at midnight! So I went to taco bell with my friends. And just gorge myself in greasy high point foods.
And now the day after, as always, I am left with regret and such. I'm like I could have done a heck of alot better! But for some reason I'm not getting past this mental block.
Here is a little background. I've been on WW for 2 and half years on and off. What started this whole thing was my mom being diagnosed with diabetes, and my determination not to get it continued my quest my loss a 100 pounds in the first year and half. Then I went through a nasty break up, a huge move, yucky roommates times 2, unfulfilling jobs times 2, and then a depression. And that was a year ago I was medicated for it. Which I was given paxil and I later found out that put on weight and honestly I didn't really care. Then the medicine wasn't working proper for me mentally. So I took myself off it. Things begin to turn around. During this whole depression I was dating this amazing guy, who got me the help (along with my amazing friends!) Beginning of this year my guy asked me to marry him, I said yes...duh! Then we moved into together. I got a promotion at work. So I have amazing things going...I've always had amazing things but I'm just rediscovering them again after that stint of depression.
So here I sit with most of the weight I loss turned into a gain. 90 pounds to be exact. Its probably all gained back who knows...we'll find out tomorrow. And I'm not sure why I'm not grasping the concept. Okay well I grasp the concept but its not sticking. I have a wedding in June and I want to look and feel sexy in my dress, like every bride does. But most of my days start off good and then it goes down hill. But I hope airing this and getting off my chest and being a part of these boards again will spark something in me and keep me going!
September 19, 2010 I mark the umpteenth plus 1 times of starting WW and it being the final time. I have a wedding dress to get into! :)
